Today & Yesterday

This last two days was a very hard day for me in the office
Not because i have to work hard than usual or to get out from my comfy office to do some inspection under the sun..
no...none of that

it's because this emotional, heartbroken feeling cause by one powerful person near me...
I am tired being treated unfair
i am tired with the negative thinkin
I am tired with the bossi style
i am tired with my helpless feeling
don't know what to do who to talk
i am tired with people telling me to be strong
I am tired that I always trying to be strong, pretend to dont care with what he did to me
just be strong and pasrah...
ooooh god why this is hapen to me?

what did I do wrong?
talk to me!!!!
What do you want?
talk to me!!!
why do you create this bad creature in your mind and you judge it that is me?
why??!!!!
Why you always avoiding the communication with me??
why??!!!!!

You talk to my leader
"whats wrong with riri?
she make everybody calling me to make me release her to go to jakarta?
she did what ever it takes and it makes me crazy"

i said what???!!!!!!!!!!
i dont event know they call him
i make this very nice email to my team about my absent..
and here...(i forward the email to my leadear)...just read waht i wrote...
he siad...i dont understand rie, why he's so negative about you?
well..at leat now you know, it's not me that have an issue...it'shim...

ah God i cannot hold this anymore
i hate this guy more than anything now but that i feel so helpless dont know what to do...
and i know nobody can't help me
My life in the office gonna be like this forever as long as he still arround

ohhhh...
i cry infront of my leader
i cry infront of my friends (they are a very good friend though)
i feel so depress
and i never been this depressed and emotional like now ever
and in the end i decided to sign up for EAP program...

I am just so lucky...
that today, we have one psychologist come by
and the doctor handed me to her
and i cry and she's a bit shock but very helpful
and she siad...if we look at the definition..i am positive to say that what you've experience is a harasment
completely harasment..

She told me to do something
and that definetly i am going to do now
i have to, i just have too
i'll fight for my right..

God please help me and make me strong..